30.8.06

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26.8.06

Bush says: ?Iraq Had ?Nothing? To Do With 9/11?

Karl Rove and Dick Cheney are not happy campers today that?s for sure. He admits he was wrong about WMD?s in Iraq and now this.

QUESTION: A lot of the consequences you mentioned for pulling out seem like maybe they never would have been there if we hadn?t gone in. How do you square all of that?

BUSH: I square it because imagine a world in which you had Saddam Hussein, who had the capacity to make a weapon of mass destruction, who was paying suiciders to kill innocent life, who had relations with Zarqawi.

You know, I?ve heard this theory about, you know, everything was just fine until we arrived [in Iraq] and ? you know, the stir-up-the-hornet?s- nest theory. It just doesn?t hold water, as far as I?m concerned.

The terrorists attacked us and killed 3,000 of our citizens before we started the freedom agenda in the Middle East. They were ?

QUESTION: What did Iraqi have to do with that?
BUSH: What did Iraq have to do with what?

QUESTION: The attacks upon the World Trade Center.

BUSH: Nothing. . . . .Except for it?s part of ? and nobody?s ever suggested in this administration that Saddam Hussein ordered the attack. Iraq was a ? Iraq ? the lesson of September the 11th is: Take threats before they fully materialize,

I seem to remember Dick Cheny, Condi and Bush trying link Iraq to 9/11 way back when:

Russert: Do you still believe there is no evidence that Iraq was involved in September 11?

CHENEY: Well, what we now have that?s developed since you and I last talked, Tim, of course, was that report that?s been pretty well confirmed, that he did go to Prague and he did meet with a senior official of the Iraqi intelligence service in Czechoslovakia last April, several months before the attack

Martini Republic: So, to sum up, we had to invade Iraq because Saddam didn?t have any WMDs and didn?t have any connection to 9/11. And his handlers reportedly cannot understand why his approval ratings remain in the toilet.

19.8.06

Wanna be an illegal alien?

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill?s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I?m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine.

Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin

12.8.06

Eleven Reasons Why Syd Barrett Was Cool

Syd Barrett, an original member of Pink Floyd and one of the true icons of the psychedelic late '60s, has passed away at age 60. Rather than dwell on the tragic passing of this amazing musical figure, we here at ChartAttack want to celebrate the great moments of this man's career. Without further ado, here are 11 reasons why Syd Barrett was cool:
# 1. He founded Pink Floyd. 'Nuff said.
# 2. He gave the band their unique name, which always sounded incredibly psychedelic, by simply taking the names of two obscure bluesmen (Floyd Council and Pink Anderson) and putting them together.
# 3. The first Pink Floyd record, The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn, is a psychedelic classic and was the complete brainchild of Barrett. The album featured several unique techniques, such as Barrett using his Zippo lighter on his guitar for feedback and distortion and all kinds of bizarre vocal parts throughout.
# 4. He wrote songs that were filled with wonder and amazement. His imagination produced songs about bedtime stories ("Matilda Mother"), magic cats ("Lucifer Sam"), tricked-out bikes ("Bike"), scarecrows ("The Scarecrow"), gnomes ("The Gnome") and even one about a bloke who got sent to jail for stealing ladies' panties off the washing line ("Arnold Layne," the first Floyd single).
# 5. There's no doubt that he had an influence on The Beatles and the recording of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band. Floyd were working on The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn at Abbey Road at the same time as The Beatles were doing their record, and both groups would wander down the hall to see what crazy noises were coming out of the respective studios.
# 6. He had a song for Floyd called "Let's Roll Another One," but the record company wouldn't go for that in 1967. That didn't stop Barrett, though. He just wrote new lyrics and the song came out as the trippy "Candy And A Current Bun."
# 7. His sense of song structure was truly magical, as evidenced on tracks like the crazy "Apples And Oranges." It flopped as a single, but it holds the award for being a psychedelic song that was actually too psychedelic for even the late '60s.
# 8. Despite his problems with drugs that eventually caused him to leave Floyd, Barrett also made two incredible solo albums, The Madcap Laughs and Barrett. Again, Barrett's sense of whimsy came to the forefront in songs like "Baby Lemonade" and his working of a James Joyce poem as "Golden Hair." The band Gigolo Aunts took their name from a track on Barrett. Even though Floyd couldn't contain him as a member, both Roger Waters and Dave Gilmour took turns producing him solo, and Richard Wright played on Barrett.
# 9. One of the best loved Floyd albums is basically a tribute to Barrett. Wish You Were Here featured "Have A Cigar," which detailed the band's first meeting with EMI back in '67, and "Shine On You Crazy Diamond," a heartfelt tribute to Barrett.
# 10. Here's a list of just a few different bands and musicians he had an affect on: This Mortal Coil, Marc Bolan, David Bowie, The Jesus And Mary Chain, The Cure's Robert Smith, Johnny Marr (formerly of The Smiths), My Bloody Valentine's Kevin Shields, Primal Scream, Voivod, The Libertines, The Beta Band, Julian Cope, Robyn Hitchcock, The Flaming Lips, R.E.M., Mercury Rev, The Dead Kennedys' East Bay Ray, Camper Van Beethoven, Pearl Jam, Love And Rockets, Elevator To Hell, The Melvins, Transatlantic, Phish, Dream Theater, Graham Coxon (formerly of Blur) and former Red Hot Chili Pepper John Frusciante.
# 11. When tribute records became the big thing in the late '80s and '90s, one of the first was one for Barrett called Beyond The Wildwood. There was another one, entitled On A Distant Shore, released in 2004.

?Dan "The Mouth" Lovranski

Convicted border agent tells his story

EL PASO, Texas - Border Patrol Agent Ignacio Ramos could hear his heart racing. He could feel the dry, hot dust burning against his skin as he chased a drug trafficker trying to flee back into Mexico. Ramos' fellow agent, Jose Alonso Compean, was lying on the ground behind him, banged up and bloody from a scuffle with the much-bigger smuggler moments earlier.
A Texas jury convicted the pair of assault with serious bodily injury; assault with a deadly weapon; discharge of a firearm in relation to a crime of violence; and a civil rights violation. Compean and Ramos also were convicted of four counts and two counts, respectively, of obstruction of justice for not reporting that their weapons had been fired. The jury acquitted both men of assault with intent to commit murder.
Suddenly the smuggler turned toward the pursuing Ramos, gun in hand. Ramos, his own weapon already drawn, shot at him, though the man was able to flee into the brush and escape the agents. Now, nearly 18 months after that violent encounter, Ramos and Compean are facing 20 years in federal prison for their actions.

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